Feeding the hungry: Micro food pantries

One of the niftier ideas to gain traction in recent years has been the micro pantry movement. Micro food pantries – sometimes referred to as Little Free Pantries or Blessing Boxes – operate on a simple premise: “Take what you need. Leave what you can.” There are no sign-ups, no strings attached and everything is free. If we’re in need, micro pantries are there for us. If we’re extra-blessed, we can help someone else.

These little outdoor pantries – usually about the size of a large kitchen cabinet – have begun to pop up in communities all over the country. They can be found next to churches, schools, businesses, apartment complexes and buildings owned by civic or not-for-profit organizations.

The pantries provide another source of help for a variety of individuals or families, from homeless people and hungry students to families strapped for cash between paychecks and people who need items not covered by SNAP benefits such as toilet paper or laundry detergent.

The need is growing. About 1 in 8 U.S. households suffer from food insecurity each year, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture – meaning they had difficulty providing enough food for all household members. The nonprofit Feeding America estimates that 1 in 5 children face hunger. Poverty, unemployment or low wages, and disability are cited as chief causes of food insecurity.

The church I belong to built its own micro pantry a couple of years ago. We placed it in a well-lit area next to the sidewalk leading up to one of our front entrances. People can safely access it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no questions asked.

Our little pantry is very well-used and has been a fairly easy project for our community service committee to maintain. Congregation members are encouraged to bring items and help keep it filled. We supplement individual contributions with occasional food drives and have received additional help from a generous bequest, as well as a fabulous group of community volunteers who call themselves Pantry Helpers.

For readers who would like to duplicate this idea in their own church, business or community group, I offer the following compilation of tips based on my own experience as a volunteer “pantry helper” and the experience of fellow volunteers. Feel free to take what you need and leave the rest! Also feel free to share this article with anyone who might be interested in such a project.

What to put in a micro pantry

A major challenge when filling a micro food pantry is that only nonperishable food items can be used, which rules out anything needing refrigeration. That leaves several creative options, however. Here are some examples of items that work great in these little free pantries:

Canned or pouched meats: Chicken, ham, Spam, beef cubes, tuna, salmon, sardines, pre-cooked bacon, Hormel Compleats.

Other proteins: Canned stew, ravioli, spaghetti and meatballs or sausage gravy; peanut butter; nuts and seeds such as almonds, walnuts, cashews, peanuts or sunflower seeds.

Fruits and vegetables: Canned fruits, vegetables, corn, baked beans, sweet potatoes or yams.

Grain products: Pasta, rice, corn meal, crackers, stuffing mix, tortillas, taco shells.

Soups: Chili; canned meat, bean or vegetable soup; boxed or pouched soup kits; ramen noodles.

Boxed kits: Macaroni and cheese, Hamburger Helper or Tuna Helper mixes, pasta noodles, rice and red bean mixes, scalloped or au gratin potato kits, pasta salad mix.

Breakfast items. Dry cereal, cream of wheat, prepackaged instant oatmeal, boxed or canned fruit juice, fruit cups, pop tarts or other breakfast pastries, pancake mix, syrup in a plastic bottle.

Other shelf-stable foods: Dried beans, instant mashed potatoes, pasta sauce in cans or plastic jars, pouched or plastic containers of baby food.

Healthy snack foods. Granola or protein bars, trail mix, peanuts or other nuts, P3 protein packs, yogurt pouches, pudding snack cups, jerky.

Cooking essentials. Sugar, flour, vegetable oil, cooking spray, vinegar, instant powdered or evaporated milk, powdered eggs, commonly used spices such as garlic, oregano, salt and pepper.

Condiments. Catsup, mustard, salsa, pickle relish, soy sauce, honey, lemon or lime juice, salad dressing.

Other: Coffee, tea, bottled water, energy drinks such as Gatorade.

Again, always make sure that all items are “shelf stable.” If unsure, check for the words “no refrigeration needed” or “refrigerate after opening.”

More goodies

Other great things to add to a micro food pantry include grocery store items that people can’t buy using SNAP benefits. Some volunteers even like to leave something for Fido or Fluffy. Here are some ideas:

Grooming supplies. Toilet paper, shampoo and conditioner, body wash, bar of soap and washcloth, disposable razors, toothpaste and toothbrushes, deodorant, feminine hygiene products, grooming kits for homeless people.

Baby items. Disposable diapers or pull-ups in assorted sizes, baby wipes, talcum powder.

Cleaning supplies. Dish soap, laundry soap, bleach, sponges, paper towels, garbage bags.

Pet food. Small cans, pouches or bags of dog or cat food.

Disposable face masks. During flu season or COVID outbreaks, order medical-grade masks online in boxes of 25 or 50 and put them in plastic sandwich bags in batches of 3 or 4 per bag.

Recipe or meal kits

Meal kits or recipe kits are perfect for many micro pantries because it is often hard for people using food pantries to find all the ingredients they need to make a complete recipe. For example, simple kits can be made pairing boxes of pasta mix with sauce and pouches of meat. Here are some ideas:  

Chicken or tuna noodle casserole. Family size pouch or can of chicken or tuna, bag of egg noodles, canned cream of celery or cream of mushroom soup, can of mushrooms.

Tuna tetrazzini. Box of Tuna Helper tetrazzini, family-size pouch or can of tuna, canned cream of mushroom soup, can of mushrooms.

Chicken fettuccini alfredo. Boxed fettuccini alfredo kit, pouched or canned chicken, canned cream of chicken soup (which can be used in place of milk and butter).

Beef stroganoff. Boxed or pouched stroganoff mix, pouched or canned beef cubes, mushrooms.

Chicken a la king. Canned chicken a la king, biscuit mix that only requires adding water.

Biscuits and gravy. Canned sausage gravy, biscuit mix that only requires adding water.

Chicken soup. Pouched or boxed soup mix, pouched or canned chicken.

Chili 3-Way. Spaghetti noodles, can of chili, plastic container of parmesan cheese.

Mexican dinner. Canned tamales, heat-and-eat Spanish rice, canned refried beans or pinto beans, small plastic container of salsa.

Chinese dinner. Canned chow mein, can or bag of crispy chow mein noodles, packets or plastic container of soy sauce.

Sandwich fixings: Pair peanut butter and jelly in plastic jars, or tuna in a pouch with mayonnaise and pickle relish in plastic jars. Add a small loaf of sliced bread.

Sack lunches. Include a protein item (pouched yogurt, jerky, breakfast bar or granola bar, trail mix, crackers with peanut butter or cheese), a fruit cup and a container of vegetable juice. Adding plastic silverware and a napkin is a nice touch.

To make a kit, create a label listing the items in the bag along with recipe directions if needed. Paste or tape the label to the outside of a paper bag – a plain lunch-size paper bag or gift bag large enough to hold all the ingredients will work well. Ingredients for these kits may also fit nicely into a gallon-size zip-lock bag. Just tuck the recipe inside the bag.

Special needs

Each micro pantry has its own unique combination of neighbors and needs. Depending on your pantry’s location, the people who use it may be primarily families, homeless individuals or even students. Volunteers may want to tailor the pantry’s contents to the needs of its frequent users.

A downtown pantry popular with homeless people may contain an assortment of grab-and-go items or sack lunches packed with a protein item, a small container of juice, a fruit cup and plastic silverware. These pantries may also include small grooming kits, socks or gloves and snack foods such as granola bars that can easily be stuffed into one’s pockets.

A pantry located next to an apartment complex may contain items more suitable for families. Meal kits and breakfast items would be especially welcome here, as well as toilet paper, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, baby wipes and pet food.

A pantry located at a school might include a variety of healthy snacks, as well as sack lunch kits. School supplies such as pens and spiral notebooks or grooming supplies and feminine hygiene products would also be useful for needy students.

Healthy snack items work great in just about any pantry, whether for homeless people or students who need something that doesn’t have to be heated up, or for families to pack for work or school.

Stocking your pantry in extreme weather

Winter weather provides yet another challenge: Not only must the items be non-perishable, but the packaging must be able to withstand freezing temperatures. This is particularly true in regions where temps can dip into single digits or lower. Glass jars or even canned goods can break or swell and burst when frozen, creating quite a mess! (Think soda cans left in the freezer.)

When sub-zero weather is in the forecast, you will want to choose meat that comes in pouches rather than cans – tuna, chicken and salmon are good options. Choose boxed soup rather than canned, or soup mixes in pouches. Staples such as sugar, flour, corn meal, rice, dried beans, pasta noodles, powdered milk, powdered egg whites, salt and pepper can withstand freezing and are always welcome regardless of the season.

Other good temperature-resistant items that fly off the shelves include grooming supplies, toilet paper, laundry detergent in a box or plastic jug, and small bags of dry pet food.

Despite the extra challenges, keeping micro pantries stocked in the winter is particularly beneficial because factors such as higher utility bills and unexpected medical expenses stemming from seasonal illnesses can squeeze budgets especially hard this time of year.

Other considerations

Is there anything that shouldn’t go into a micro pantry?

Volunteers who stock pantries on a regular basis recommend avoiding food in glass jars. Unfortunately, glass jars have been known to crack or break if the temperature gets too hot or too cold. Items such as peanut butter and jelly, mayonnaise, pickle relish and pasta sauce are often available in plastic rather than glass jars.

Another point to consider: If you don’t want to eat it, probably no one else does either. This includes expired, damaged or already opened food items, rusty, severely dented or unmarked cans, or any other food you would NOT eat yourself or feed your own family. This may seem like common sense, but volunteer pantry helpers have learned to expect just about anything – garbage, dented cans, perishable food that has perished.

Here are some additional things volunteers have collectively learned as they’ve stocked the micro pantries in their communities.

• If possible, locate your pantry in a well-lit place with a security camera nearby and in plain view. This may discourage vandalism as well as increase personal safety for pantry users.

• If a pantry has an overabundance of any one item, a pantry helper may want to remove some and either take to other pantries or gradually add the item back to the original pantry shelf. For example, leave a few rolls of toilet paper rather than an entire 12-roll package.

• Meal kits offer a way to move some items off the shelves. For example, boxed macaroni and cheese by itself may not work if a person doesn’t have milk and butter at home. But pair the same item with cream of cheese soup, which can replace milk and butter, and canned ham or spam that can be cut into chunks, and one has a complete meal. Canned beans and tomatoes present a similar puzzle, but may work well as part of a meal kit.

• Micro pantries are a great place to repurpose those little packets containing napkins and plastic silverware that come in to-go restaurant orders. That way, homeless people or students who avail themselves of food in the pantry have something to eat it with. The sample-size soap and shampoo picked up from hotel rooms are perfect for grooming kits.

• Again, consider the pantry’s location. Pull-top cans may not be a good idea in locations with a lot of ongoing vandalism, but they work perfectly in busy downtown spaces where homeless people gather.

• Pantries may need to be cleaned and repaired from time to time. Many volunteers carry garbage bags, boxes, latex gloves and some cleaning supplies in case they are needed when stocking pantries.

Make it a group project

What’s nice about micro pantries is that there are no hard-and-fast rules. At first, the little free pantries operated very informally, with mostly individuals either taking or adding items. But then various organizations began “adopting” the pantries and turning their maintenance into a more formal group effort.

If your church, business or civic organization has someone with carpentry skills, you can build your own little pantry. The one my church built turned out to be fairly easy to construct. (Click HERE for a link to the design and instructions we used.)

Other organizations may prefer to adopt an existing micro pantry and assume responsibility for keeping it filled, clean and in good repair.

At church, your youth group or community service committee could encourage congregation members to donate the items. Conducting a food drive would also make a great service activity for civic organizations you or your children belong to, such as Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts or your local garden club. Many businesses have also been conducting food drives.

Where I live, a 501c3 organization called Pantry Helpers specifically devotes itself to keeping our community’s nearly three dozen micro pantries stocked. The group organizes its own food drives or picks up food from other organizations that conduct the drives, and members distribute the items to the various pantries. These volunteers also make sure the pantries stay clean and in good repair.

The biggest thing volunteers have learned is just how great the need is in many of our communities. Keeping the pantries stocked is a huge challenge – items often fly off the shelves faster than they can be replaced. So anything individuals or groups can do to help is worthwhile.

All this adds up to a win-win situation for everyone, giver and receiver alike.

Update: Some good news

Over the past year and a half, several of you who follow my blog have been generously keeping my husband Pete and me in your prayers. So, on this very blessed Easter Sunday, I’d like to take this opportunity to offer an update.

Pete was diagnosed with bladder cancer in October of 2022, and in December of the same year, I had a heart attack. I got the easier part of the bargain – two stents for Christmas, followed by cardiac rehab therapy, a healthier eating plan and more exercise. Pete’s journey has been far more grueling – chemotherapy, followed by major surgery to remove his bladder, then several hospitalizations due to infections and other complications, and finally, immunotherapy treatments.

There were bright spots, like the major milestone moment when Pete “rang the bell” upon finishing chemo last spring.

But much of 2023 was a chaotic roller coaster ride of repeated hospital stays, juggling medical appointments (sometimes as many as 15 in one week between the two of us) and frustrating efforts to navigate the health care system – not to mention an abundance of anxiety and uncertainty about the future.

So it’s with much relief, joy and thanksgiving that we’re finally able to report some good news. In mid-March, Pete went for a complete follow-up CT scan of his lungs, abdomen and pelvis. Nothing scary was growing and several previous “areas of concern” had either shrunk or disappeared entirely. Last week, Pete’s oncologist confirmed that his current regimen of immunotherapy seems to be keeping his “bad-boy cells” under control.

Because it’s Stage 4, there is no cure at this point. But the oncologist assures us the cancer continues to be treatable, and so far (knock wood!) the side effects from the immunotherapy have been minimal. These days, a LOT can be done – even some advanced cancers are now being treated like a chronic illness rather than an automatic death sentence. As Pete said a few days ago in his Facebook update about the CT scan results: “This stuff never goes away, and doctors deal with probabilities, not certainties. But I’m taking this as very good news indeed!”

Meanwhile, my heart attack was definitely a wake-up call. My heart – quite literally – was telling me I really, really needed to establish better eating habits and address my mostly sedentary lifestyle. My cardiac rehab program offered nutritional advice, a personalized exercise plan and educational classes on how to live with a heart condition. So we’ve established a healthy eating plan and have added yoga and walking to our routine.

This, of course, has me singing: “Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah, hallelujah, hal-le-e-lu-jah!” (Picture a choir singing the “Hallelujah Chorus” from The Messiah.) And I do have much to be thankful for.

I have been impressed and humbled by my dear husband’s strength, courage and persistence as he has plowed through his endless treatments.

I’ve taken to calling Champie our furry little comforter. Our sweet kitty kept Pete company and rubbed noses with him as Pete was recuperating from surgery and other complications. Our fur baby cuddled up with me on those lonely nights when Pete was in the hospital and I had to sleep alone at home. Even at the ripe old age of 18, he continues to be his sweet, ornery, adorable self.

We are both beyond grateful for the mountain of get-well wishes, the delicious meals sent to our house by special angels when we didn’t feel like cooking, the offers to assist with transportation and other needs, the cat photos and baby goat videos and bad puns posted to our Facebook pages to cheer us up, and the many other things our wonderful family members and friends have done to help us feel supported and loved as we’ve traveled through this uncharted and often frightening and frustrating territory.

Everyone’s continued prayers have been especially appreciated!! Our church congregation has kept us on their prayer list for well over a year now, and friends and family members have put us on the prayer lists at their own churches. The Dominican Sisters in our community have enveloped us in prayer and provided us with spiritual direction. Several dear readers who follow this blog have assured us that we’re in your prayers as well. The steady stream of prayers, cards and visits have helped more than people know!

We’ve even gotten support from complete strangers who probably have no idea how much of an impact their small actions are having. When we’re out and about, especially when we’re on our way to doctor’s appointments, we make a point of driving by the house on MacArthur Boulevard with this sign in their yard.

While we’ve gotten amazing support from family, friends and our spiritual community, possibly the one biggest thing we’ve needed is hope. For hope to happen, we’ve had to lean on a health care team we can trust.

Over the past year, we’ve assembled a good medical team that is helping both of us get the ongoing physical care we need. As exasperating as our health care system can be to navigate, we’ve been blessed with competent and dedicated health care professionals, from Pete’s oncologist and my heart specialists to the overnight nursing staff who helped keep Pete and me comfortable during hospital stays.

We mustn’t forget to mention the amazing staff at the Simmons Cancer Institute’s infusion center, the interventional radiology team at St. John’s Hospital, the folks at the Prairie Heart Institute’s cardiac rehab center, and the home health team who came to our house throughout the late winter, spring and early summer of 2023.

More importantly, we’ve had to lean on and trust God to get us through. The “Prayer of Good Courage” was written in 1941 by Anglican priest Eric Milner-White, and is a favorite at Holden Village, a Christian retreat center in Washington state. It has become a favorite for Pete and me as well, especially during times when we’ve found it hard to trust where God might be leading us next.

So … Pete and I finally seem to be turning a corner. I hope!! For those who have been keeping us in your prayers and offering a million other kinds of generous support — thank you, thank you, thank you!!

Happy Easter, everyone! Christ is risen indeed.

Healthy eating: Memes for the rest of us

This Lenten season, I’ve committed to doubling down on healthy eating and exercise.

Four weeks in, I’m actually doing fairly well and have even managed to drop a few pounds. But that’s not to say it’s been easy.

So I appreciate the abundance of memes that express empathy for my struggle, and can’t resist sharing some of them. Enjoy.

Book excerpt: Our children are watching

Note: This is an excerpt from my book in progress, which examines the polarization ripping apart our society and shares my personal search for an appropriate Christian response. For an overview of the book and to read my other excerpts, click HERE.

It would be bad enough if the tide of anger and disrespect fueled by the Culture Wars served merely to put people in a surly, antisocial mood. Unfortunately, the damage doesn’t stop there. On a societal level, our finger-pointing outrage epidemic leads to everything from loss of trust in our institutions to violence against individuals who belong to maligned groups. On a personal level, people report damaged friendships and stress at family gatherings.

Perhaps worst of all, however, is the fact that our children are watching us. 

Of course, adults have been lamenting youthful attitudes and behavior ever since Socrates complained that the younger generation of his day disrespected their elders and lacked proper manners. Twenty-first century adults gripe that kids feel entitled, want instant gratification, lack a proper work ethic, spend so much time glued to their devices they no longer have basic communication skills, and are generally rude and inconsiderate of others.

The school shootings that occur with numbing regularity in the U.S. have called attention to a problem pervasive in most school districts – student cliques, outcasts and bullying. Children begin forming cliques as early as grade school. High school jocks pick on geeks. Middle school mean girls single out scapegoats for gratuitous abuse because their hair is wrong.

Many of these students aren’t content to simply avoid or exclude certain kids. Insiders often treat outsiders in ways that seem inexplicably cruel. Insults, harassment and scapegoating abound. Almost any perceived difference – race or ethnicity, language, social class, disability, size, wardrobe, personal style – serves as useful fodder for hurtful words and actions. Tragically, some students have been driven to suicide by cyberbullying.

Yet we must remember that children aren’t born with social graces. Getting along with others requires skills that, for most kids, don’t come naturally – the ability to listen, negotiate, compromise, and look at a situation from another’s point of view. Youngsters need to be guided toward healthy behavior, and the best guide is adult example. “Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray,” Proverbs 22:6 reminds us.

So what kind of example are we showing them?

Cliques, bad attitudes and hypocrisy, oh my!

A cynic might suggest that cliques and cyberbullying provide excellent practice for life in adult society. Several parallels could be drawn between student cliques and adult culture war “tribes” – social sorting, an Us vs. Them mentality, in-group conformity and out-group stigmatization, and peer pressure to align with the in-group’s norms, beliefs and behaviors in order to gain acceptance and avoid isolation.

We live in echo chambers that ensure we are exposed mostly to people who share our own worldview and are shielded from conflicting ideas or viewpoints. The more we identify with a group, the more we feel pressured to agree with its dogma – a party line that seems to include 650 boxes which must all be checked, lest we risk rejection by our chosen peers.

Kids who take their cues from adults in our highly polarized society might be excused for thinking rudeness is clever. Parents and teachers share concerns about allowing younger children to watch political debates because of the name-calling, insults and other loutish behavior on the part of the candidates. Comedians and talk show hosts derive perverse delight from their crude and uncontrolled behavior toward people perceived as opponents. Cable news programs feature guests who constantly interrupt each other and engage in shouting matches.

Young people looking to adults for examples of how to behave might also get the message that values like kindness and compromise are passé. Elected officials who work across the aisle often risk losing support from their base or face opposition in their party’s next primary election. In our private relationships, people who insist on maintaining friendships across ideological lines may be accused of selling out.

Politically progressive folks who should be old enough to know better accuse us of “tone policing” if we object to their profanity-laced tirades directed toward anyone who disagrees with them. Supposedly mature conservatives tell us we’ve overdosed on “political correctness” if we dare to suggest that consideration for others is still a virtue worth cultivating, especially if we suggest those people should be the recipients.

Kids adept at spotting adult hypocrisy don’t have to look far to find it. Do we think our kids don’t notice the mudslinging we’ve come to regard as routine for political campaigns? Or the car with the middle-aged driver and the bumper sticker that tells us what we can eat if we don’t like the owner’s driving? Or the (alleged) adults who consider flaming a popular sport on social media sites?

A Gallup poll found that a majority of Americans think our lack of manners in everyday life is a somewhat or very serious problem, and that the problem is getting worse. However, when asked whether they had displayed road rage themselves (shouted, cursed or made gestures to other drivers), 61 percent of the same survey respondents admitted doing so.

Sadly, those of us who identify as Christians are in no position to judge secular society when it comes to adults behaving badly. For years now, church folks have been locked in “worship wars” – an unyielding struggle over whether a congregation’s music and worship style should be traditional or contemporary. Progressive and conservative Christians regularly skewer each other on Web sites such as Patheos in diatribes complete with insults, name-calling and expletives NOT deleted.

In short, when one looks at the divisions between various groups in our culture, not to mention the general incivility that seems so pervasive everywhere, is it any wonder that our kids form cliques and behave in inconsiderate ways toward their peers? Should we be surprised if our young people roll their eyes or ignore us when we lecture them about their manners?

In Ezekiel 18:2, we find an ancient Hebrew proverb: “The parents have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.” Seems that some things haven’t changed much in the past 3,000 years or so.

Let’s watch our own manners

The fact that our society has become more relaxed in recent years – and more open-minded about what constitutes proper etiquette – is not a totally bad thing. Who cares whether we wear white after Labor Day? And modern courtesy demands respect for the fact that different cultures may have different rules about how to set a table.

But perhaps we could refrain from spilling beer all over the fans in front of us at sports events, constantly checking our mobile phones or other devices during face-to-face encounters, or interrupting and shouting down speakers at public forums. Common sense would dictate that verbal abuse and harassment, belittling others, and using intimidation tactics to get our own way constitute inappropriate behavior in any culture.

School districts have tried various means to encourage more respectful behavior among students – anti-bullying programs, social skills incorporated into lesson plans, even etiquette classes. Many parents try to do their part by encouraging their children to avoid cliquishness and show empathy for others, as well as letting their kids know they disapprove of hurtful behavior.

But families and schools can only go so far in an era of road rage, political scapegoating and so-called “news” shows that glorify shouting matches. If we really want to encourage younger generations to be polite rather than insolent, and inclusive rather than cliquish, we need to look at what’s going on in our adult communities.

Exodus 34:7 warns us that the sins of the parents shall be visited upon the children unto the third and fourth generations. In other words, children often suffer the consequences of their parents’ sins, especially when young people adopt the sinful behavior for themselves.

While it’s true that children are not born with social graces, it would be interesting to contemplate how much better our kids might behave if everyone over 21 observed a few rules of basic courtesy – the kind that go beyond which fork to use at the dinner table:

• Say “please” and “thank-you.”

• Avoid name-calling, insults and character assassination, even when posting on social media or running for public office.

• Refrain from flashing obscene gestures at other drivers, whether or not your kids are in the back seat.

• Resist dropping F bombs on the heads of people who fail to check all your ideological boxes.

• Keep in mind that political differences are no excuse for rudeness.

Syndicated columnist Judith Martin, a.k.a. Miss Manners, reminds us, “To have a pleasant society, you must control yourself.” Especially if we want our kids to control themselves. When we forget or overlook our manners, so, it seems, does everyone else – including our children.

Questions for readers: Do you feel that rudeness has gotten worse in recent years? How does one “train children in the right way” when we have so many examples of adults behaving badly? I’d love to hear your response to these questions, as well as your comments on this article. Just hit “Leave a Reply” below. When responding, please keep in mind the guidelines I’ve outlined on my Rules of Engagement page (link HERE).

Thoughts on sacrifice

Each Lenten season, as I contemplate the subject of sacrifice, a favorite childhood memory comes to mind.

My sisters and I were sitting around the kitchen table one afternoon after school discussing what we planned to give up for Lent that year – cake, ice cream, candy, chocolate – when my father added his two cents to the conversation. “I’ve never been a fan of sacrifice just for the sake of it,” he said thoughtfully. “Not when life itself gives us so many opportunities to make real sacrifices. If you’re going to give something up, your sacrifice should actually make a difference.”

We all looked at him quizzically.

Dad grinned from ear to ear. “Instead of cake and ice cream, why don’t you kids give up fighting for Lent?”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Mom chimed in. “Just imagine – six whole weeks with no kids fighting!”

Being charitable toward a sibling guilty of looking at me the wrong way proved a bit more challenging than forgoing a candy bar. Nevertheless, I think my sisters and I may have accomplished this feat for a whole day or two.

A story circulating on Facebook quotes an anonymous priest whose approach to Lenten sacrifice echoes my father’s: “Jesus would probably laugh at us for giving up chocolate or coffee – things that bring us joy and make us happy. What he might suggest instead is giving up things that make us miserable – jealousy, greed, gossip.”

Both Dad’s observation and the priest’s seem to fit pretty well with what the Bible teaches about sacrifice.

“For I desire mercy and not sacrifice,” says Hosea 6:6, “and the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings.”

Isaiah 58:6-7 offers an example of sacrifice that really makes a difference. “Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? Is it not to share your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them and not to hide yourself from your own kin?”

Micah 6:8 elaborates. “And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?”

In other words, not all sacrifices are created equal.

At its best, sacrificial giving offers an amazing way to show love for our neighbors, whether we do something small like filling a neighborhood micro pantry with groceries, or something major like assuming the caregiving role for a family member with dementia. At its worst, “sacrifice” can go horribly wrong – suicide bombers come to mind.

Even the best of us can make somewhat misguided sacrifices. We’ve all known parents who give their children everything – everything, that is, but their time and attention. Or we commit too much of our time to things that don’t really matter because we can’t say “no.” Such self-sacrifice often leads to resentment and, ironically, may not truly benefit anyone in the long run.

Then we have performative sacrifice – giving that lets us feel self-righteous and is designed more for our own benefit than for others. Some businesses make charitable contributions that seem like nothing more than a cynical ploy to keep their brand in front of the public. Or someone buys a meal for a homeless person and takes a selfie to post on social media. This virtue signaling may be what Jesus had in mind when he said in Matthew 6:2, “Whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do … so that they may be praised by others.”

And how much sacrifice is enough? In recent years, some of us were only half-joking when we said it felt like Lent had been going on since Ash Wednesday in 2020, which came just days before the pandemic shut everything down. “Haven’t we given up enough already?” we asked plaintively.

In all seriousness, we may rightly decide a particular goal isn’t worth the sacrifices we would need to make in order to achieve it. Earlier in my life, I learned the hard way that we should not sacrifice too much of what is important to us at the altar of career success, only to discover that the brass ring isn’t so shiny once we’ve grabbed it.

Most of us don’t mind a certain amount of sacrifice as long as the expectations are fair. For example, we might agree that asking others to make sacrifices we wouldn’t make ourselves is manipulative and hypocritical. I’m thinking of corporate executives who exhort employees to “make sacrifices for the company” in the form of substandard pay and abysmal working conditions while awarding themselves exorbitant salaries and bonuses.

The scriptures in several places suggest tithing – sacrificing 10 percent of our income. In Mark 10:20, Jesus also tells a rich young man to “go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor.” So far, I have yet to meet anyone who has actually followed the advice given to the rich young man, and many of us (myself included) have tended to regard tithing as “aspirational.”

Most of us would probably agree that those who have more should give more. Mark 12:41-44 comes to mind here: Jesus sat down and “watched the crowd putting money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow came and put in two small copper coins, which are worth a penny. Then he called his disciples and said to them, ‘Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put in more than all those who are contributing to the treasury.’” 

So if we’re giving up something for Lent – or making sacrifices any other time of the year, for that matter – what kinds of sacrifices are appropriate, reasonable and acceptable to God?

Like my father said, life itself presents us with plenty of opportunities to make real sacrifices. Examples that come to mind include our need to always be right, our desire to retaliate when someone offends us, our compulsion to multitask when someone needs our undivided attention, our mindless screen time that crowds out activities with family and friends.

In recent years, some of my friends, both Catholic and Protestant, have added a new tradition to their Lenten discipline. Instead of – or in addition to – giving something up, they approach Lent as a time to “take something on” and acquire a new positive habit. This could include anything from healthy eating and exercise to daily prayer and meditation to a new charitable commitment.

Since Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us to put off the “old self” and put on a “new self,” including such “add-ons” during Lent makes sense. Adding positive new habits often entails moving beyond our comfort zone, which can be a sacrifice in itself. Psychologists say it takes about 30 days for a new behavior to become a habit, so Lent gives us a bonus of 10 extra days to make a new habit our own.

Last year, my spiritual director suggested coming up with a list of fun or relaxing activities my husband and I could do together, which required both of us to pry ourselves away from our computers and sacrifice time spent doom-scrolling for salacious reporting about the latest political scandal. 

If we’re at all honest, we have to admit that we actually receive significant benefits from self-sacrifice. Giving to others helps us feel empowered and good about ourselves. This became more clear to me during the pandemic, when my husband and I found ourselves looking for ways to keep giving to others despite the COVID restrictions and our respective health problems. It reminded us that the world still needed what we had to offer. We need to feel needed.

We’ve also found that letting people give to us can, believe it or not, be a form of sacrifice. Doing so can mean surrendering our illusions of self-sufficiency, while at the same time giving others a chance to feel good about themselves. When Pete and I were both recuperating from hospital stays in the same month, friends and relatives were quick to offer various kinds of help. Our first impulse was to say, “We’re fine. We don’t need anything.” Instead, our cancer support group facilitator suggested, “Let them help.” The result was several delicious meals delivered to our door at a time when neither of us felt up to cooking.

Finally, in this era of relentless culture wars, I’m reminded of the Biblical passage about making peace with our neighbors before bringing our offering to the altar. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “When you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”

It would seem that Dad was right after all: We need to give up incessant and pointless fighting. Then – maybe – let’s talk about forgoing chocolate ice cream.

Clutter is a spiritual issue

When I began spiritual direction several years ago, one of the first assignments my spiritual director suggested was to come up with an image that best symbolized my current spiritual condition.

A vivid image came to mind almost immediately. I saw myself buried under an avalanche of clutter – piles and piles of papers and boxes and boxes of miscellaneous stuff. I transferred the image in my head to the computer screen using Photoshop. (I always love a good excuse to play with Photoshop.) I promptly named the image Clutter Mountain.

As I created this image, I realized the clutter in my life consisted of more than paper and other physical items. I tossed a to-do list onto the pile, and added a computer with the words “Click Bait” on the screen. I threw in a bag of chips to symbolize my all too frequent stress-eating. Underneath the papers and boxes, I placed several boulders with labels on them – fear, resentment, pain – to represent the steady stream of anxieties and other intrusive thoughts that kept me awake at night and pre-occupied during the day. I added some baggage for good measure.

Sticking out of the pile were my arms, which juggled several balls in the air – family, friends, volunteer work, the house. I added a rope to represent the tug-of-war over my time and my personal values caused by competing demands and continual conflict. Some of the balls had dropped and rested on the ground at the bottom of the heap – my writing, self-care, God.

I remember wondering how God would react to the image I’d just created – was I about to provoke a bolt of lightning? Then I reminded myself that God already knew what was going on and might even be glad to see me acknowledge the reality of my life at the time.

When I showed the image to my spiritual director, I half expected her to supply some relevant Bible verses about the Godliness of cleanliness and self-discipline. Instead, she looked the graphic over for a moment, then asked, “What stands out for you?”

I pointed out the “God ball” at the foot of the clutter pile. God was there, of course, but after creating this image, I could see very clearly how clutter blocked my spiritual path.

For my next homework assignment, my spiritual director challenged me to identify all the different kinds of clutter clogging up my life. I made this list:

• Physical clutter. Piles of paper covered nearly every surface in my office. My closets bulged with clothes and shoes, some of which I hadn’t worn in years. Boxes and boxes and boxes marked “miscellaneous” remained stashed in the basement from our last move more than seven years earlier. And I didn’t even like to think about the mess in the garage.

• Computer clutter. I could spend hours at my computer playing solitaire, mindlessly surfing the Internet, responding to click bait that sucked me into celebrity gossip, reading “news” articles about political name-calling, and getting locked into fights about culture war issues with friends, relatives and even total strangers on Facebook.

• Calendar clutter. Some of the commitments on my calendar truly mattered to me – “date nights” with my husband, visits with family or friends, community volunteer work. But too many of the other commitments overwhelming my schedule had crept onto my to-do list because I couldn’t seem to say “no” to people.

• Nutritional clutter. Junk food temptations beckoned constantly. Supermarkets and even so-called health food stores offered cereal with sugar as the first ingredient, highly processed trans-fat-laden “dinners” I could pop into the microwave, and whole aisles of cookies and candy. Restaurant buffets, family gatherings and church potlucks featured entire tables of desserts.

• Mental and emotional clutter. Finally, there was the steady stream of anxieties, regrets, unresolved conflicts, grudges and resentments that kept me pre-occupied during the day and awake at night. These seemed to be hindering my spiritual growth most of all.

The list reinforced for me that all this clutter was indeed a spiritual issue. When I put junk food into my body – the temple of the Holy Spirit – it clogged my arteries and accumulated as extra pounds around my waist. The mindless Internet-surfing and solitaire games sucked hours and hours out of my day that could have been better spent connecting with other people, taking a walk, or doing just about anything else. Endless ruminating about resentments interfered with my ability to love my neighbors as myself. Excessive trivial demands on my time zapped energy needed for genuinely important commitments. And when the physical clutter in my house was out of control, my whole life felt out of control.

Sometimes it seemed as if my life had been reduced to crossing items off endless to-do lists – my to-do list for volunteer work, my to-do list for household chores, my to-do list of personal self-care routines, my to-do list of urgent matters, even a master list to keep track of all the to-do lists. This elaborate system of lists was suggested by the day-planner I carried around constantly and jokingly called “my conscience.” I constantly juggled so many balls in the air, I was convinced I had to keep these multiple to-do lists or I wouldn’t remember to do simple things like brush my teeth. Despite all the to-do lists designed to help me hold myself accountable for how I spent my time, I couldn’t seem to keep up with the demands.

Ecclesiastes 3:6 reminds us there is “a time to keep and a time to cast away.” With that in mind, I resolved to make decluttering one of my priorities. After writing down all those areas of my life that felt not-so-well ordered, I shared the list with my spiritual director.

Instead of incorporating my “God ball” back into the rotation of balls I was juggling, my spiritual director suggested I might want to leave it where it was for the time being. “Just sit with it,” she said.

Back at the drawing board (Photoshop, that is), I retrieved my Clutter Mountain graphic and painted my “God ball” gold. I then pictured myself crawling out from under the clutter pile and sitting next to the golden “God ball” with my eyes closed and my back to everything else – a cup of warm coffee in my hands and my cats at my side.

Of course, this meant the other balls I was juggling would drop, at least temporarily, I told my spiritual director when I showed her the edited graphic.

“That’s okay,” she said. “Those other balls will still be there when it’s time for you to get back to them. They’re not going anywhere.”

Over the next few sessions, she challenged me with additional questions, including this one: “Do you ever doubt God’s existence?”

Could it be that I was distracting myself from these tough questions with all the to-do lists, the frantic scheduling, the endless accumulation of “stuff,” and the mindless Internet surfing that cluttered my physical space and unquieted my mind? My spiritual director thought I might be onto something. And yes, she assured me, it was okay to question my beliefs. Starting with, did I really believe there was a God? Why or why not?

I revisited these images recently while reviewing my spiritual progress. I was gratified to see that I actually have managed to make some improvements in the years since I first began spiritual direction.

My spiritual director recommended I devote one hour each weekday to sorting through the physical clutter in our house. While I still haven’t achieved my dream of a perfectly clean house with a place for everything and everything in its place, our house does stay looking presentable most of the time.

After the pandemic shut everything down, deleting a number of commitments from my calendar in the process, I’ve been very selective about adding them back. I’ve managed to set better boundaries with my screens as well, nearly eliminating the solitaire games and resisting click bait at least occasionally.

I’ve developed a healthy eating plan that replaces much of my previous junk food diet with fruits and veggies, whole grains, spices instead of salt, and more home-cooked meals. While I don’t adhere to the plan perfectly, I have been steadily improving, especially since being diagnosed with diabetes.

The spiritual direction process itself has been beneficial for tackling mental and emotional clutter. One thing that really helped was giving myself permission to ask all those “God questions” some folks might think I shouldn’t be asking. And once I started taming my to-do list by setting better boundaries, I found myself feeling fewer resentments.

Alas, I can’t say my life has become completely clutter-free. Most of those boxes in the basement labeled “miscellaneous” remain. I still catch myself mindlessly surfing the Internet from time to time and clicking on bait like “21 celebrities who have gone to prison.” Or I find myself saying “yes” to a new commitment when I really should say “no.” And I’ll plead guilty to harboring an itty bitty resentment now and then.

In other words, this decluttering exercise hasn’t been a once-and-done proposition. When the physical and spiritual clutter starts piling up again, and the tug-of-war over my time and my values threatens to resume, I still find the images to be a helpful reality check.

As they say around the tables at 12-Step meetings, we seek spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. One day at a time.

Recipe: Baptist Sangria

Image created using Imagine AI

A growing trend – “Dry January” – offers a chance to skip the alcohol and try something different for a change.

Dry January challenges people to abstain from alcohol for the entire month. The new custom has gained popularity in recent years as a response to the excesses of the holiday season, and many are using the occasion as an opportunity to reevaluate their relationship with alcohol, modify habits, or experience the physical and mental health benefits of sobriety.

The good news: People who want or need to avoid alcohol – whatever the reason or season – have an increasing number of fun options besides the usual diet cola or club soda. One can try a Mockmopolitan, Virgin Mojito, Cucumber Cooler, Mango Tango, Citrus Sparkler or a few dozen other enticing offerings.

One of my favorite drinks in this category is a Baptist Sangria – so named because it is, you guessed it, nonalcoholic. The colorful mocktail offers a delicious alternative to the traditional sangria, perfect for people who choose not to drink alcohol, even beyond January.

More good news: This delightful drink actually has nutritional value – lots of Vitamin C and at least one fruit serving to help meet our daily quota of fruits and veggies – not to mention a large glass of something liquid to aid hydration.

To make the drink, I fill a large glass with equal parts cranberry or pomegranate juice, sparkling water and fresh fruit. If I really want to get fancy, I can add a sprig of mint.

I make sure the fruit juice is actually 100 percent juice, not “juice drink,” which has far too much added sugar.

For the sparkling water, I use Sodastream – a wonderful contraption that turns plain old tap water into sparkling water with none of the sodium often found in the commercial variety.

I then add fresh fruit such as citrus slices or wedges, fruit chunks or berries. The possibilities here are endless. Oranges, lemons, limes, strawberries, cherries, grapes, kiwis, peaches, apples, pineapples and melons all work well.

Ingredients

• Cranberry or pomegranate juice
• Sparkling water or club soda
• Sliced fresh fruit, fresh fruit chunks or whole berries
• Sprig of mint (optional)

Directions

Fill your glass about a third full of chilled juice.

Add an equal amount of chilled sparkling water and stir.

Fill the remainder of the glass with any combination of sliced fruit, fruit chunks, fruit wedges or berries.

Garnish with a fruit slice and/or a sprig of mint.

That’s it. Easy-peasy. Enjoy!

Nutrition information*

For a drink made from 4 ounces of cranberry juice, 4 ounces of sparkling water and a half cup of lemon, lime and orange chunks:

Calories: 95 | Carbohydrates: 25 g | Protein: 1 g | Fat: 0 g | Saturated Fat: 0 g | Cholesterol: 0 mg | Sodium: 12 mg | Potassium: 290 mg | Fiber: 2.5 g | Sugar: 21 g | Vitamin A: 0% | Vitamin C: 130% | Calcium: 3% | Iron: 0%

* Nutritional values are approximate, and may depend on brands used and other variables.

Spiritual direction: Moving beyond survival

As the new year gets underway, I’m beginning my sixth year of spiritual direction.

Spiritual direction – for those unfamiliar with the concept – is a partnership in which one Christian helps another grow in a personal relationship with God, usually through regular one-on-one meetings. The meetings are tailored to each individual’s needs and can include anything from scripture study, prayer and reflection to discernment, goal setting and accountability. Pete and I have been working with a series of specially-trained Dominican Sisters. It’s important to point out that, for us, spiritual direction has been a supplement to – rather than a substitute for – church. 

Several factors led me to seek such direction – the transition in focus and priorities prompted by my retirement; the “time is limited” epiphany that comes with being 60-something, losing loved ones and developing chronic health problems; and the internal tug-of-war over my personal values brought on by the increasing divisiveness and polarization in our society. When Pete saw how much I was benefitting from the process, he decided to embark on a spiritual direction journey of his own.

I definitely regard this decision as a “God thing” that came at exactly the right time. Since beginning spiritual direction, Pete and I have lost what feels like an unbearably long list of loved ones. COVID-19 upended our lives relentlessly. Now we’re dealing with stage 4 cancer (Pete) and the aftermath of a heart attack (me). As we struggle to establish new habits/routines and ward off depression and exhaustion, spiritual direction has turned out to be exactly what the doctor ordered.

Where I’ve been

I began my own spiritual direction journey by learning how to address those pesky doubts about God’s existence that creep up from time to time – mostly by going outside and immersing myself in nature, which constantly reassures me of the presence of a Creator. I’ve also explored a variety of prayer techniques ranging from meditation, prayers of petition/intercession and prayers of thanksgiving to nature prayer and writing or journaling as a form of prayer.

When the pandemic hit and everything shut down, including in-person church services, staying connected to our spiritual community became a priority. We began “attending” online Sunday services, participated in our church’s community service and faith formation committees via Zoom and committed to helping keep our micro pantry filled. We also initiated Sundays@6, our congregation’s adult faith formation class offered via Zoom, which Pete and I continue to co-facilitate.

After about three years of spiritual direction, Pete and I decided to try something completely different and became Dominican Associates – lay people who embrace the Dominican Sisters’ traditions of prayer, study, community and ministry. Associates undertake individual volunteer ministries in their own churches/parishes and communities. They may also join the Sisters on committees and boards, work side-by-side with the Sisters in their ministries, or provide logistical support for the Sisters’ public events. As the Dominican Sisters’ website (link HERE) says – and I just love this: Associates “respond to God’s call to share the Gospel by preaching it through the witness of their lives.”

Among other things, we learned that Associates in our community can assist with the local Sisters’ social justice activities. One of their activities that proved particularly attractive to Pete and me was the Sisters’ anti-racism efforts and we decided to join their anti-racism task force’s associates committee. Our involvement in this group, which brings together people of different races to discuss how to address racism both in ourselves and in our society’s institutions, has proven to be an amazing learning experience.

Another of my Associates Program commitments has involved doing my part to preserve and protect the environment through my own habits, such as better recycling, environmentally-friendly gardening and lawn care, creating flower beds for pollinators and reducing our household’s use of fossil fuels. In the past couple of years, we’ve had extensive landscaping work done – creating a mini urban wildlife sanctuary in our backyard and turning our flower beds into a welcome center for hummingbirds, bees and butterflies. As a bonus, the yard is looking beautiful! I like to think of this project as “God’s work, our hands,” and have found gardening to be enormously therapeutic.

Other goals I’ve worked on as part of spiritual direction have included taking a more intentional look at our finances and investment decisions, and – of all things – decluttering.

The latter goal may seem trivial in the face of everything else we’re dealing with right now, but when the house is a mess, the rest of my life starts to feel unmanageable. Decluttering is one small thing I can do to feel less helpless when life gets chaotic. My first spiritual director recommended I devote one hour each weekday to sorting through the physical clutter in our house. Alas, I still haven’t achieved my dream of a perfectly clean house with a place for everything and everything in its place – even in the closets, basement and garage – but our house does stay looking at least presentable most of the time.

Our financial “inventory” started with Pete and I updating our wills and power-of-attorney documents, something we’d been putting off but definitely needed to get done. Then we established a donor-advised fund with our local community foundation in honor of his parents and mine, and this year made small grants to a pair of community organizations that address food insecurity. We are now in the process of consulting with our financial advisor to help us find socially responsible investment opportunities. 

Where next?

So what’s next as I continue my spiritual direction journey in 2024?

Last year, I created a fairly lengthy list of goals – a list that got seriously hijacked as health issues intervened and dominated our lives. This year, my spiritual director has suggested I select two or three areas to focus on – much more realistic, I would agree.

Here’s where I want to focus my attention in the coming year.

Self-care will, by necessity, continue to be a major concern.1 Corinthians 6:19 reminds us that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit, and my recent medical adventures have sent an unmistakable message that I need to take better care of mine. My heart – quite literally – is telling me I really, really need to establish better eating habits and a sustainable exercise program. I want to help nurse Pete back to health as well. Over the past year, we’ve assembled a good medical team that can help both of us get the ongoing physical care we need.

But we also want to move beyond survival. As I’ve said previously, one of our goals has been to keep our health issues from completely taking over and dominating our lives. Because our health issues at this point are chronic rather than curable, keeping our heads above water is going to present a challenge for my husband and me going forward. Nevertheless, we want our lives to move from merely surviving to thriving. Hopefully our continued spiritual direction work can be a key part of making that happen, with God’s help.

All three spiritual directors we’ve worked with so far have coped with cancer and other debilitating or disabling chronic conditions, and it has been inspiring to see the ways they’ve been able to contribute to their communities in spite of their challenges. Our first two spiritual directors are now, sadly, deceased. But they continued to do God’s work right up to the end, and Pete and I have been impressed enough to say to each other, “We want to be like that.”

I also want to focus more sustained attention on my writing, especially my book-in-progress. From age 10 onward, I’ve dreamed of writing a book. More than 50 years later, that goal is … still on my bucket list. I have more than a dozen excerpts written and need to stay motivated so I can make real progress on the book. And, of course, I want to keep working on my blog. I’ve known since grade school that writing would play some role in my life’s purpose, whatever that turned out to be. I do consider my writing ability to be a gift from God that should not be wasted. 

Finally, I want to focus more attention on the discernment process that led me to begin spiritual direction to begin with. What is God’s purpose or plan for my life going forward? How do I live my life in a way that is consistent with my beliefs and values? What are my own beliefs about the hot-button issues that consume our nation’s culture warriors? What is my role as a Christian in fighting or mitigating society’s problems and political battles?

From the beginning, I have been questioning all kinds of dogma, from the spiritual and religious to the political and ideological. This “deconstruction/reconstruction” work started with questioning a lot of things I thought I knew, along with beliefs and values other people – whether liberal or conservative – want me to hold. I want to continue developing a belief/value system that both my rational mind and my conscience can accept, rather than simply parroting a set of values and beliefs that will let me fit in chameleon-like with my peers.

This discernment process has gotten sidetracked several times during my spiritual direction journey, so I do want to make an especially conscientious effort this year to overcome my inertia – and fear, perhaps – so I can stay on track in this vital area.

Our annual Christmas letter

The past year at our house has been … eventful.

Pete was diagnosed with bladder cancer in October of 2022 and I had a heart attack just before Christmas of last year. So we’ve spent much of 2023 juggling doctor appointments and making some major lifestyle changes. Whoever said aging is not for the faint-of-heart wasn’t kidding.

I’ve been blown away by Pete’s extraordinary strength and courage as he has plowed through chemotherapy, major surgery, hospitalizations due to infections and other complications, and finally, immunotherapy treatments. The good news: The oncologist assures us the cancer remains treatable, and so far (knock wood!) the side effects from the immunotherapy have been minimal. A major milestone was Pete “ringing the bell” when he finished chemo.

Meanwhile, I’ve spent the past year doing cardiac rehab therapy, trying to fit more exercise into my schedule and working at eating healthier food. The heart attack was definitely a wake-up call – I’ve decided my dietary habits and sedentary lifestyle need some serious revision.

We are both beyond grateful for the mountain of get-well wishes and prayers, the delicious meals sent to our house when we didn’t feel like cooking, the cat photos and baby goat videos and bad puns posted to our Facebook pages to cheer us up, and the many other things our wonderful family members and friends have done to help us feel supported and loved. The steady stream of prayers, cards and visits have helped us more than people know. Everyone’s continued prayers are especially appreciated!!

And we love this sign, which we make a point of driving by when we’re on our way to appointments.

One of our goals has been to keep our health issues from completely taking over and dominating our lives, and we’ve been at least moderately successful in this regard.

We continue to be involved with our church. Because of the immunosuppression caused by Pete’s cancer treatment, we’ve been “attending” Sunday services online and participating in committee meetings via Zoom. (Pete’s been joking that his immune system is a welcome mat for every contagion that comes along.) We miss being there in person! But we’re finding other ways to contribute our time and talents to our congregation.  

Our church built its own micro food pantry a couple of years ago. About the size of a large kitchen cabinet, it sits in a well-lit area next to the sidewalk leading up to one of our front entrances. People can safely access it 24 hours a day, seven days a week, no questions asked. We love the idea, so we’ve committed to help keep it filled with food we either buy ourselves or pick up from food drives conducted by various civic groups around the community.

We’re about to begin our third year of leading Sundays@6, an adult faith formation class which meets on Zoom. So far, we’ve covered subjects ranging from the 10 Commandments to evangelism to how our faith should impact the way we address current issues. The group has about a dozen regulars who “attend” each week, and the discussions are quite lively. We absolutely love this group, and it has played a vital role in keeping those of us who are homebound connected to our congregation.

For the past year, we’ve been involved in an anti-racism task force created by our community’s Dominican Sisters Associates program. The group, which meets on Zoom every other month, brings together people of different races to discuss how to recognize and address racism both in ourselves and in our society’s institutions. Participating in this group has been an amazing learning experience and we’ve been honored to be part of it.

We also continue to do spiritual direction with one of the Dominican Sisters. Spiritual direction – for those unfamiliar with the concept – is a partnership in which one Christian helps another grow in a personal relationship with God. Monthly one-on-one meetings have involved examining our relationship with God, our prayer life, our personal values and various lifestyle choices. Another amazing learning experience for both of us!

For several years now, we’ve been working to make our yard an urban sanctuary for wildlife and turn our flower beds into a welcome center for hummingbirds, bees and butterflies. We try to add a few native perennials each year, as well as planting an abundance of annuals and avoiding lawn chemicals. We’ve found gardening to be therapeutic, and the yard is looking beautiful! We like to think of this project as “God’s work, our hands.”

Our lovable, ornery, beautiful Champie has been such a sweet little buddy to us as we’ve survived this roller-coaster of a year. We often refer to him as our furry little comforter. He was a “rescue kitty” we adopted from a shelter 16 years ago, but there could be a definite debate about who’s rescued whom. We love him so much, and he has us utterly wrapped around his paw! How much cuteness can a camera possibly capture?

On a sad note, we had to say goodbye this year to some very lovely people. Chuck, who was part of our dulcimer group for a dozen years, could be delightfully cantankerous when it came to politics and always brought his famous adobo chicken when he came to our house. Sister Kathleen was our spiritual director through some very trying times. My “Bonus Aunt” Marian was a lifelong friend of my mother’s and a fixture in my life since childhood. Evie was one of the first people to befriend me when I joined our church 20 years ago.

We definitely consider these amazing people to be among our personal “cloud of witnesses” and thank God for their presence in our lives.

Here’s hoping everyone has a merry Christmas and a happy and healthy New Year full of grace and peace!

Meowy Christmas

Cat memes are fun any time of the year, but there’s something special about cats and Christmas ornaments …

At our house, we somewhat solve the problem of cats vs. holiday decor by placing our little tree up on a table in our sunroom and tying the ornaments to the tree. But it’s still possible to find a stray cat toy (oops, I mean ornament) on the floor from time to time.

Cats will be cats, after all. And even at their orneriest, they still love having a lap to sit on.